I have a specific thinking face? What's it look like?

[She'll give him a serious answer too, it's just going to take another minute. She wanted to be able to put it into words that wouldn't just immediately make him think she was being too hard on herself or something, cause she knew it could sound like that but she didn't think she was. Also there was a lot, now he had just asked her flat out what she was thinking, things she hadn't even realized she was thinking.]

I - I mean I could have avoided this. If I had - been more careful. And I know you aren't going to ask me to do that, but that doesn't mean you don't want to ask me to do that, and there's plenty of other people too that worry, that would worry more if they knew about this, and they have asked me to be careful and I don't and doesn't that make me kind of an asshole? I mean -

and I hate hospitals. I'm thinking I hate hospitals, when Bran had his accident we couldn't bring him home for months, and what if the whole family did find out and I was the one dragging them all back into a hospital?

and what if - no. no, never mind.